So I Thought
by breeography
Summary: When I started Hogwarts I didn't understand the idea of relationships. I was going to school to focus on my studies and nothing else. And I was fine with that. I was fine with that until I met Sirius Black
1. Prologue

All your twisted thoughts free flow

_All your twisted thoughts free flow_

_To everlasting memories_

_Show soul_

_Kiss the stars with me_

_And dread the wait for_

_Stupid calls returning us to life_

_We say to those who are in love_

_It can't be true 'because we're too young_

_I know that's true because_

_So long I was_

_So in love with you_

_So I thought_

_--So I Thought, Flyleaf_

I never thought that attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would change my life.

It did.

My mum was a Muggle, and my dad was Muggle-born. They met at a café in Paris right when Dad graduated, and were soon married. When they had me, they had a long discussion as to whether it would be better to raise me in the Wizarding world or the Muggle world—and determined that my life would be much easier within the world that I would soon join.

I rode my first broomstick when I was three. It's strange that I can remember back that far. Mum was furious at my father for letting me do such a dangerous thing. He always supported me in everything I tried. When things got tough, he was my rock, my support.

Mum, on the other hand, was the realist. "No need to cover up the truth," she always said, "because that leads to lies and betrayal."

When I was seven, my dad was killed—Mum and I were never told what really happened at the Ministry that day—I couldn't believe it. Daddy, _my_ daddy, was dead. It's amazing how much you think about life fading away when someone close to you disappears, huh?

Mum raised me by herself from then on. I learned to believe in only the practical, only the sensible—and that's strange considering I had magical powers and we lived in a village where others had powers like me. I did not believe that love at first sight existed, and I did not believe that I could ever have a soul mate waiting for me. There was no point in squandering away my feelings for someone when I'd only end up hurt.

When I started Hogwarts I still thought the same way. I was going to school to focus on my studies and nothing else. Mum wanted me to succeed, graduate, and get on with my life.

And I was fine with that.

I was fine with that until I met Sirius Black.

When it came time for the beginning of my first year at Hogwarts, my mother and I arrived at Platform 9 ¾ with ten minutes to spare. I was a nervous wreck, checking once, twice, three times that I had everything I needed for the term.

"Janie, listen to me," Mum said as I looked at the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10. "You'll be fine, okay? Just don't let… things distract you from your school work."

I nodded my head and bit my lower lip. "I'll write to you every week?"

Mum smiled and gathered me into a hug. It was strange being that close to her. Usually she didn't like to have physical contact with anyone. Since Dad died, her reality was somewhat skewed and she sometimes forgot what world she lived in. I never tried to get close to her.

I hugged her back, though, smiling to myself. This Hogwarts thing was going to be something good in my life. I could tell.

Since Mum didn't want to face the Wizard population with me, I went through the barrier by myself. It was scary, and I took it at a bit of a run to get my nerves down. No such luck. Right in front of me was the most glorious train I had ever laid eyes on in my eleven years of existence. It was scarlet with smoke coming out of the front. People were all around me, trying to find their things and put them into compartments so they could say good-bye to their loved ones.

It was then that I realized I was completely alone. My mother didn't like going into the outside world after what happened to Dad, so I had to find my way by myself…as I'd done since I was seven.

I felt my shoulder get knocked into, my bag sliding off and almost spilling its contents onto the concrete. A boy turned around with light grey eyes and dark black hair, smiled slightly, and continued on as if I hadn't existed.

"Thanks a lot!" I yelled to him sarcastically, scowling. I adjusted the strap and pulled my large trunk behind me. The train was packed; all the compartments seemed to be filling up by the second. I finally found an empty one near the end of the train. "Thank Merlin."

I could sit down and be at peace, maybe even read a book. Never did I expect that my train ride would be interrupted in a few minute's time.

I felt the train jerk as we started pulling forward. Children were shouting out of the windows to their parents and saying their good-byes.

"Oi, anyone sitting here?"

My head jerked up to see a boy who was rather scrawny with round glasses and messy black hair. He smiled at me, and to be polite, I smiled back. "No, nobody is in here but me," I told him. "You're welcome to sit."

He grinned broadly and came bounding in, holding his hand out. "I'm James Potter, and you are?"

I took his hand (to be nice) and replied with, "I'm Jane Livings, but most people call me Janie."

Things were getting off to a good start, I thought. I'd already met someone new.

"You a first year, too?"

I turned my attention back on the boy named James and nodded. "I am, actually. I'm rather nervous about the whole sorting thing. I do hope I'm in Ravenclaw. That's where my dad was."

"Ravenclaw?" James questioned, wrinkling his nose. "Nah, I want to be in Gryffindor. That's where all the brave ones are. Yep, that's me."

I couldn't help but smile. He seemed to have all of his priorities straight. "Are you from a Pureblood family?" I asked casually. "My dad is—_was_ a Muggle-born. He was in Ravenclaw. My mum's Muggle."

"Both my parents were in Gryffindor," James responded and leaned back in his seat, "which is why I know I'm going to get in there."

I sat there in silence. This boy was so confident, so full of life. I didn't have any friends from home that were my age, and I was sure that he was the kind of person I wanted to hang around. "James, listen, I was wondering—"

"Is there any more room in here?"

Both James and I focused our attention on the door, where it had slid open to reveal two boys. One was kind looking, with sandy brown hair and chocolate coloured eyes. The other one was the boy who'd knocked into me on the platform. His hair was onyx and his eyes were warmer than they'd been when I'd seen them before—they were grey, or blue; it was hard to tell without staring into them.

"Room?" James asked, scooting over. "There's plenty. I'm James Potter, and this here's Jane Livings."

"Sirius Black, at your service," the boy with the multi-toned eyes introduced, "and this is my new friend, Remus Lupin."

The other boy smiled confidently at us, and I looked down. I never was good with dealing with too many people. "It's nice to meet you," I said quietly, fumbling with my bag for a book.

Remus Lupin took a seat next to me and Sirius sat next to James. The three boys were bonding quite well, and I was just the remaining wheel. It was a horrible feeling.

"I'm hoping to get into Gryffindor," James was retelling Sirius and Remus what he'd told me. "My parents were both in there, as were my grandparents… generations of Potters."

"My family's all in Slytherin," Sirius said darkly. "If I don't get in there, I'm as good as dead."

I stared at him. "Good as dead?" I said, piping up for the first time in minutes. "That's ridiculous."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow at me and leaned forward. "Oh, really?" he asked.

"Really," I replied. "It's ludicrous for your family to have such high expectations for you to be sorted into Slytherin. It shouldn't matter what house you're in."

"But Jane," James started confusedly, "you just said you wanted to be in Ravenclaw because your dad was in that house. Isn't that sort of the same thing you're telling Sirius?"

I opened my mouth to retort with something witty, but I could not think of a single thing to say. Instead, Sirius spoke. "You want to be in _Ravenclaw_?"

I rolled my yes. "Yes, so?"

"Ravenclaw's for the smart kids."

"Are you implying that I have a low I.Q.?"

Sirius laughed. "Maybe, or maybe I'm saying you're one of the smart people that need to be in Ravenclaw. Take your pick."

Remus and James looked from Sirius to me, and then back to Sirius.

"You don't know me, so therefore you cannot make any judgments about my intelligence," I told him fiercely. "For your information, I will probably be the highest in the class because of my studying techniques and dedication to school. YOU will most likely be a slacker."

Sirius chuckled. "You're probably right about the slacker part," he commented, causing James to grin and Remus to look amused at the situation.

I fumed silently to myself for the rest of the train ride. Even when the trolley witch came round with sweets to satisfy me until my seventh year, and Sirius offered to pay for some Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, I was seething. "I don't need your charity," I snapped and stuck my nose back into my book.

"It wasn't charity," Sirius countered as he slid the compartment doors shut. "I was offering to buy you something, there's a difference. Remind me not to be nice to you forever."

"Ah, Sirius," Remus said as he bit into a big slab of chocolate, "be nice to the girl." He sent me a smile that I returned kindly. I could tell that this Remus Lupin was going to be a good friend, just like James.

"Oh, bugger off, Remus," responded Sirius and smirked at me. I noticed that he had dimples, and the one on his left cheek was bigger than the one in his right. It was annoying. "Janie here will tell me when to leave her alone, right, Janie?"

"Leave me alone," I said to him immediately.

James roared with laughter and slapped Sirius on the back. "Looks like you made your first enemy, mate!" he told him.

"He's not my enemy," I said plainly. "I just don't like people who act arrogant and better than they really are."

"You mean yourself," Sirius retorted.

"Shove off." I could feel my face growing hot. "What… what I meant was… I mean, what I mean is… I mean…"

"Wow, Livings," began Sirius, "I never thought I'd see the day when someone other than my own family insulted me."

I looked at him, expecting him to be scowling, but he was grinning like a child. This was a game to him.

I could feel the train slowing down to a stop, and I quickly got up. "I have to change into my robes," I announced and left the three boys, feeling my face growing hotter by the second.

I ended up getting placed into Gryffindor, which my mother was not too happy about. She'd figured that I'd end up in Ravenclaw as well. James, Remus and Sirius were all put in Gryffindor, too, and I was happy that two of them were.

As for Sirius, I couldn't stand being in his presence. That was precisely why I spent most of my years at Hogwarts avoiding him. It was hard since I was good friends with Remus and James and Peter Pettigrew (whom we met at the feast), but most of the time it worked out well.

On the occasions I _did_ have to deal with Sirius, he made fun of me. I was used to it by the time I got into my second year, and it became more of a routine.

I became really close friends with a girl named Alice Logan (she was in my year), and it was as if we'd been separated at birth. Since I had no real siblings to share things with, she became the honorary one.

This is my story. It begins at the start of my seventh year, because the events that followed are important. Nothing went according to plan, and all those things I thought I didn't believe in came tumbling down on my head.

This is Sirius's story. He would've wanted it written down because it affects everything we've ever known.

This is our story.


	2. Chapter 1: Caffeine and Trains

Chapter One

**Chapter One**

**Caffeine and Trains**

"Psst. Janie… wake up."

"Ungh."

"Wakey, wakey, Janie."

"Nungh ungh."

"It's the last day of vacation, wake up!"

My entire body shot up. Last day of vacation? I looked over at Alice Logan, my best friend of almost seven years, and she was grinning broadly. _She actually got sleep_, I thought to myself as I stretched my hands above my head and yawned.

"The last day?" I questioned out loud, sighing. "It went too fast, Ali."

Alice nodded in agreement and brushed a strand of her strawberry blonde hair away from her face. That was one thing I was jealous of Alice about--she has the prettiest hair. It was red, but blonde, and then there was just a hint of brown.

She was lucky.

"I know, I woke up and when I glanced at my calendar, I could hardly believe it myself!" Alice laughed a soft, sweet laugh and stared at me through her big blue eyes. "We're going to be seventh years tomorrow. SEVENTH years, Janie!"

I couldn't believe it myself. "It's weird," I told her, scratching my head. _My_ hair wasn't nearly as pretty as Alice's. It was more like a mud brown. No natural highlights, limp, no style, and when it felt like it, it would curl in the oddest of places. "I thought that I'd feel different starting into my last year of Hogwarts," I continued, "but I feel exactly the same as I always have."

"You do?" Alice asked.

"You don't?" I countered.

Alice shook her head and came over to sit next to me. Her voce became very grave as she spoke. "Everything is changing around us, Janie. Everything. Frank was telling me about that… that _awful _wizard, and him gaining support with people calling themselves 'Death Eaters'… I have a really bad feeling that something terrible is going to happen."

A pause emitted between us before I burst out laughing. "Ali, you cannot possibly be serious. Nothing bad is going to happen. We're going to graduate Hogwarts, and we're going to get really good jobs, and we're going to find great men--"

"I already have Frank," she giggled as she interrupted me.

"--and we'll have families and stuff in no time," I finished. Her face was beet red, and I smiled. Ever since she and Frank Longbottom had gotten together, I'd seen a whole new side of Alice. She was much shyer. I don't know exactly how to describe it, but Frank was definitely good for her.

Since Alice had made her residence here for the summer, Frank came over to visit us and wanted to include me in a lot of things they did. Of course, I excused myself _sometimes_ so they could have some alone time together, but it was really thoughtful of them both to include me.

Alice continued to giggle as I stood up to look in my mirror. _This is as good as it's going to get, Janie_, I said to myself and sighed. "I need food," I mumbled as I tied my wilted hair into a pony tail (hey, it was out of the way, wasn't it?). "Like, now."

"Your mum is downstairs; I'll ask her to whip some pancakes up for you. She's the one that told me to wake you anyways."

"She's evil, my mother," I grimaced and walked out the door and down the hall to the bathroom. I was in desperate need of a shower, and the sooner I got one, the sooner I'd be awake.

And as soon as I stepped into the shower, I could hear Mum calling for me--screeching at me is more like it. "Coming, I'm coming!" I shouted, turning off the water and wrapping myself in a blue towel. I yelled from the top of the stairs. "I was in the shower, Mum! What is it?"

I saw her at the bottom of the steps, looking fearful, almost to the point of hysteria. Probably another one of her panic attacks. She'd had them ever since Dad passed away. They'd been getting worse over the years. "Mum? What's going on?"

"Get dressed," she mumbled, walking half way up the stairs and grabbing my arm. "Get dressed! I saw--Janie! GET DRESSED! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!"

I pulled her hand off of me and tried to calm her breathing down. "We're not under attack, Mum," I assured her as I clunked down the stairs in my house slippers. "Calm down."

Mum followed me down the stairs, muttering under her breath, finally collapsing on the floor. Alice on the other side of the room. She looked pale as though she didn't know what to do.

I knew exactly how to handle my mother in this situation. "Mum, go in the bedroom. I'll call the Ministry and let them know we're under attack. Stay in that room and you'll be safe."

Mum sort of muttered incoherently and stood up. She made her way to her bedroom, shutting the door and locking it fiercely.

Alice stared at me. "After seven years, I'm still not used to that," she said in a hushed tone.

I shrugged. I was plenty used to it, and every time I felt sorry for Mum. She didn't deserve to have Dad taken away from her like that… so suddenly.

"I guess she still feels like someone's watching her," I said as I went into the kitchen to save the burning pancakes that were supposed to be my breakfast. "I think she feels like Dad's death was planned or something."

Alice sat down at the kitchen table and sighed heavily. "I can understand that," she breathed. A couple of silent seconds ticked by before I turned off the oven.

"I can't cook the Muggle way," I said. "Never could. Dad tried to teach me, Alice, he really did… but I was not meant to be in a kitchen. Ever."

Alice cracked a grin. "We can always walk to that place around the corner. Right? The café?"

The Smokehouse was one of my all-time favourite cafés to go, and seeing as how I lived right in the middle between the Muggle world and the Wizarding world, it was convenient to walk to. "Sounds good," I smiled. "Let me check on Mum before we leave, though."

Alice nodded and went to get her shoes.

I crept up to my mother's door and pressed a curious ear to the wood. Mum was moaning and crying on the bed, the sound muffled by her face in the pillows.

God, I wished I could help her.

Alice and I made our way to The Smokehouse with little effort. I'd finally gotten in to talk to my mother, and she was alright. Weak and pale, but alright.

Alice and I walked to the café in silence, each of us thinking about this and the fact that we were about to become adults in the Wizarding world.

At least, that was on my mind at the time.

We entered the café and got in line (there was only an elderly man in front of us, and he moved pretty swiftly). I ordered two coffees for us—one with two creams and sugars, one black.

I needed, _needed_ caffeine in my system. Alice understood this, of course--she was only my best friend. We quickly drank the coffees as we down in the furthest corner to talk about our futures.

That was when I saw him.

He was in the same café as Alice and I. Jet black hair and pale gray eyes like I remembered from years past. He was wearing what looked to be a black button down shirt and dark wash jeans.

Alice looked at me, and then looked at where I was staring. "Isn't that--"

"Yep," I responded before she said it. "Sirius Black is in our coffee shop."

As soon as these words escaped my mouth, Sirius turned to where Alice and I were sitting, and a large, goofy grin spread across his flawless face. Damn him and his dimples. He was rather cute, once you got past the arrogant 'I'm so much better than you' persona.

"Livings!" he called out, whooping. "You and Logan looking good!"

I rolled my eyes and looked down at my empty mug. I was in desperate need of a refill, but I was not, and I repeat, NOT going to go up there when he was up there.

"Livings! C'mere!"

I shot Sirius a look that clearly said I had no intention of going up there to have a little chat with him, so he took that as an invitation to come over to us. I groaned inwardly as he sat backwards in the café chair and smiled. "Having fun on your last day of freedom?"

"Hello, Black," I said, acid dripping from my tongue. "Your loving parents let you out long enough for coffee and harassment charges?"

He grinned that same, stupid grin. "I'm actually living with the Potters now," Sirius said, laughing. "And nice to see you, too."

"What do you want?" I asked him, pushing up my glasses on my nose. "We're busy."

Sirius glanced at Alice and I and rolled his eyes. "Busy?" he questioned, raising one perfect eyebrow. "Oh, yes. Empty coffee mugs definitely point to busy in my book."

"Shove off," I said.

"Make me," Sirius taunted back.

He was so childish! "I don't want to," I said. "Alice and I were having a perfectly good talk before you had to come and ruin it."

Sirius looked offended. "Did I really ruin your talk, or are you just making up excuses because you don't like me?"

I shrugged. "Both."

Sirius grinned. "Sometimes you're worse than Prongs, Livings," he said and sat back. His eyes rounded on Alice. "How're things in Logan world?"

Alice shook her head and smiled kindly. "You're hopeless, Sirius," she said. "I'm fine. I've been staying with Janie since the beginning of July."

"Really?" Sirius asked, laughing. "And has she treated you fairly, given you proper rations of food and supplies--"

I kicked Sirius in the shin and he shut up immediately. That was the only way I knew how to control him: with violence. He always did what he was told if kicked once or twice.

"I've treated her fine, Sirius," I told him and stood up, giving Alice a look so she did as well. "But we've really got to be going. Lots of stuff to pack."

Sirius stood up, too. "I think I'll stay for another round of coffee. You ladies have a safe journey home."

"We'll try," Alice said and linked arms with me as we left the place. "Is he acting dashing or what?" she said and giggled.

"Alice," I said, trying to get her to compose herself, "that's his job. I think his goal is to woo every girl at Hogwarts. It really makes my blood boil."

Alice nodded, and we walked the rest of the way home in silence.

"Alice, Janie! Hurry, go through the platform! Go, now!"

My mother was hurrying us down to the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10, knowing that it was only five minutes until eleven o'clock. I was wearing navy blue jeans and an emerald green sweater to keep me warm, and Alice was donned in a knee-length jean skirt and a blue collared shirt. We hadn't had time to really think about what we were wearing, considering we'd woken up late.

"Alice, you first!" Mom shouted.

Alice smiled and hugged my mother good-bye, taking the barrier at run as I had during my first year.

Now there was only Mum and me. "Do well this term," she said to me and cupped my face in her hands. "You're finally growing up, Janie. Don't disappoint me."

My face fell and I sighed. "I won't," I said, vowing to myself more than actually telling my mother. She smiled and motioned for me to go.

I took it at a run as well; turning once more to see Mum's face, and went through the barrier.

"Janie! Hurry!" I heard Alice shouting. "I got us a compartment at the end of the train!"

I yelled that I'd meet her there and quickly pulled my trunk to one of the train entrance, reality hitting me that I was actually seventh year. This was the last time I would have to do any of this. I smiled in spite of myself.

"Janie!"

Coming back to my senses, I jumped on the train and pulled my trunk up, just in time for the thing to actually start moving. Damn, I was good.

Alice laughed at my disheveled state and helped me to our compartment. "You excited?" she asked me.

I smiled and sat down on the left side. "Why do you always ask me that?"

Shrugging, Alice sat down across from me and began plaiting her long hair. "We're seventh years. We're in charge now! I'm excited!"

"I guess," was my reply. "But we still have to do what the Head Boy and Head Girl say."

I felt myself tense up when I said that. I'd been rather sore at the fact that I hadn't been chosen as a Head anything. I mean, I was up there with Lily Evans and Remus Lupin as far as my scores, but no. No, I wasn't good enough.

"Who do you think were chosen to be the Heads this year?" Alice asked me curiously. She'd treaded upon this subject lightly the whole summer. This was the first time she'd come out and said anything about it.

I pursed my lips for a moment in thought. "Honestly, I have no clue," I said. "But if it's-"

"The party is here!"

I heard myself sigh. "If it's Sirius Black, then we're all in trouble," I finished.

Sirius Black came strolling into our compartment, followed by James Potter, Remus Lupin, and little Peter Pettigrew. It was funny because every one of those boys had matured physically since their first year, yet Peter looked the same as ever.

"Hi, James. Hi, Remus. Hi, Peter," I said and smiled up at the three. When my eyes worked their way over to Sirius, they turned cold. "Sirius."

"Livings, how wonderful to see you again," he said and sent me a bow.

I glanced over at Alice, and she smiled encouragingly back. "It's nice to see you, too." Then I turned my attention back to the other three who had taken seats in our compartment. James was next to me, Peter and Remus were sitting by Alice, and Sirius was still standing. "How were your summers?"

James grinned and adjusted his glasses so they were straighter on his nose. "Great," he started, "because I finally got Lily to write back to me."

I couldn't stop myself from giggling. "You don't mean Lily Evans, do you?"

James scowled and Remus grinned at me. "Yes, I meant Lily Evans! I've been writing her every summer for seven years, and she finally wrote back!"

"What did she say?"

James shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Well, she told me to sod off, but still--"

Everyone in the compartment roared with laughter.

"--at least she wrote me!" James looked around at us and frowned. "It's a step in the right direction, come on, you know I'm right!"

"You know, you're right, James," I said and grinned broadly. "Maybe Lily is falling for you."

"And maybe the sky is orange," I heard Sirius mumble.

It was snide remarks like that that made me want to shove Sirius's head in a blender (it's a Muggle sort of contraption that you can put lots of food items and mix them together). "Or maybe she's falling for him," I said and looked at him tersely.

Sirius raised his head and smirked. "Lily Evans hates James. Always has, always will. I don't think she'd change her mind over one summer."

"Padfoot!" James said, insulted.

"Prongs!" countered Sirius.

"Both of you, calm down," said Remus, speaking up for the first time that day. I had to send him a thank you smile.

That was what I liked about Remus most--his ability to keep the other Marauders in line. Yes, they called themselves the Marauders. I don't know why, but it made them more famous around the school. James was called Prongs, Remus was called Moony, Peter was Wormtail, and Sirius was Padfoot.

Throughout our years at Hogwarts, the Marauders have gotten themselves into a fair bit of trouble. Well, usually it would be James or Sirius, with an occasional appearance by the other two Marauders. Remus made sure that they did their homework and they actually went to class.

"You calm down, Moony," Sirius said and scratched his head. "Prongs, why don't you just ask Lily yourself?"

A euphoric look took a hold of James' face as he nodded his head. "I think I will," he said confidently, and slid open the compartment door. "You'll all be surprised when she says that she's been madly in love with me from the first day she saw me."

And with that, he left. Remus then exchanged a look with Peter and they both rounded on Sirius. "Why did you send him off to do that?" Peter asked, frowning. "James is going to be mad at you when Lily tells him to die… yet again."

"I didn't send him off to do anything!" said Sirius.

"Oh, come off it, Sirius!" I started in. "You know that Lily is going to say no and slap him or laugh in his face! You know that, yet you went ahead and pushed him toward humiliation!"

I rolled my eyes and then started a conversation with Alice on the lack of maturity in boys our age. I could feel Sirius's eyes on me, but I ignored it. He was angry.

I couldn't wait until I got to Hogwarts.


	3. Chapter 2: Stirring Up Trouble

Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

"Welcome new students, welcome. And welcome back to the returning ones. I don't want you all to be bored whilst I talk about rules and regulations, so I shall do that after the feast. Dig in!"

Laughing, I grinned at Alice and grabbed a chicken leg from the food that had magically appeared in the middle of the table. I was starved. We'd not eaten breakfast because we'd had such a late start, and it showed. I piled mashed potatoes, rice, biscuits and gravy onto my plate and started shoveling it down.

I was having a wonderful time. Down the table, Lily Evans was sitting, and she waved to me energetically. I waved back, knowing we'd get to talk later in our dorms.

Alice, Lily and I have shared a dorm with just ourselves since our third year. We used to have a roommate, but she complained that she felt suffocated in our room.

Wuss. She just didn't like that Lily got a lot of attention in classes and out. But that didn't stop the teachers from listening to her complaint intently, and finally moving her to the sixth year dorm. Lily and I weren't exactly close to one another, but we got along decently.

"Janie? You there?"

I whirled around when I heard my name calling me from my thoughts. It was James, and I smiled in relief. I'd thought for sure it was Sirius. "I'm here," I said and chuckled. "Just thinking."

"I could tell. Alice and I were trying to get your attention for about five minutes," James said and sank down in the empty seat on my right. "If you two don't mind, could the Marauders sit here? We're surrounded by a bunch of first years who want to ask us questions about how to get places, and it's hard for us to tell them the wrong way without laughing."

I looked at Alice to make sure it was alright with her. "Sure," I responded. "Just make sure that Sirius isn't sitting near me."

"Done," said James and motioned for the three other boys to come over. Thankfully, Remus took the seat on my left and Sirius and Peter took seats on either side of Alice.

"Some sorting, huh?" asked Remus, and I laughed.

"Just more new kids. They'll adjust in time. I did."

"It's weird seeing how short they are," James said.

I snorted in a very unladylike fashion and took a sip of my pumpkin juice. "I feel like a giant compared to them."

Sirius stared at me, and I knew he was going to say something rude. "Well, Janie, you're a giant compared to people our age, so it's not that big of a deal."

Sadly, he was right. I was freakishly tall for my age, being about 5'10''. I was often made fun of when I was younger, but now people had come to accept it as I had. "Shut up, Sirius," I told him and took a bite of my mashed potatoes.

"Yeah," said James and his eyes twinkled. "Leave her alone."

I rolled my eyes and smiled at Alice. We were surrounded by boys.

"What?" Sirius asked, quirking an eyebrow. "It's true. She's really tall!"

"But I don't want to be reminded every second of my life," I pointed out. Boys. They are so ignorant.

"I was being honest," said Sirius.

"So was I."

"Knock it off, both of you," James interrupted, because Dumbledore had come to the front to address the students. The whole of the Great Hall fell silent.

"Before I send you off for a good night's sleep for tomorrow's lessons, there are a few start of term notices I must give out. First, the Dark Forest is forbidden to all students. Mr. Argus Filch, the caretaker of Hogwarts, has also wanted me to let you know that doing magic in the halls between classes is strictly prohibited.

"Now, I want to introduce to you your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Medatla!"

My eyes scanned the staff table at the front for someone new, and immediately I found who Professor Dumbledore was referring to. She looked to be in her mid thirties. Her skin was very pale and she had long brown hair tied in a bun. Her robes were a deep shade of violet, and her hat sat crookedly atop her head.

The Great Hall filled with polite clapping as Professor Medatla stood up and acknowledged everyone.

"Thank you, Professor Medatla," Dumbledore said kindly and then cleared his throat. "Last note before you all leave. I know that rumours throughout the Wizarding world have been spreading about a certain Lord Voldemort."

The room went deathly quiet.

"I have been told by the Ministry not to warn you about him, because they do not see him as a threat. However, I feel it necessary to tell my students the truth. Covering up the truth leads to lies and betrayal."

I smiled. Dumbledore sounded like my mother.

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer, I always say. It will come in handy when you need it most. Now, off to bed, all of you!"

James smiled awkwardly at all of us and said, "Uh… I've got to go… I have… Head Boy duties."

My eyes grew wide as people started talking loudly around me. "You're the Head Boy?" I asked, and laughed. "Oh, if Lily's Head Girl, you're in for a real--"

"Potter, are you ready to get this over with?"

Alice, Remus, Peter, Sirius, James and I turned at the sound of none other than Lily Evans's voice. She looked repulsed that she would have to be dealing with James for the whole year. After all, Heads got their own dorms.

"I'm ready," James responded dreamily and stared at her.

Lily rolled her eyes and then focused on me. "I'm coming up to the dorm before I head off to the Head one. I want to see how your summer was." She smiled at Alice and I brightly.

"Sounds fine to me," I said. "See you in a few."

The Gryffindor table slowly filed out of the Great Hall and up to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Marbolack," I said, and she swung open to reveal the hole to the common room. I was home.

"And then he completely ignored me when I tried to tell him to lead the first years down the hall to show them the way to the dungeons. It's as if he spends all of his time asking me to at least give him a chance!"

Lily, Alice and I were up in the Gryffindor dormitories chatting about how everything was going for the three of us. She was, of course, complaining about James and their Head duties.

"I'm sure it'll get better once you and he get used to being Heads," Alice offered as she took a bite of a Chocolate Frog. "James will get the hint and stop bothering you."

"Because he's definitely listened to her these past seven years," I said sarcastically. Alice tossed me a Blinding Bar (when you take a bite in it, you see flashes of fireworks in your eyes) and I sighed. "James is… complicated, Lily."

"That's exactly the problem!"

I stared at her, and I knew Alice was, too. "What?" I asked.

Lily stood up from where she was lying (across Alice's bed) and bit her lower lip as she thought. "I'm afraid that since Potter and I will be in close quarters this year, I'll realize that he's… well, I'll realize that all these seven years of hating him will have been for nothing."

For a second, we were all quiet--and then I spoke. "You're worried that you'll think he's decent and actually maybe quite possibly grow to like him?"

Lily's emerald eyes widened as Alice grinned mischievously from her place. "I won't ever have feelings for Potter! No, no, no! I meant I might like him in a friendly manner!"

"Okay!" I yelled back, rolling my eyes in an amused way. Alice and I had discussed probable couples for this year when we had nothing to do at my house, and when Lily and James had come up, we just smiled.

They had to get together sometime. Their hate was just itching to make its way into something else.

Lily stared down at the floor after the three of us were silent yet again. "What if I do start falling for him?" Her voice was low, and she actually sounded scared. "What if I start falling for him?"

I kept thinking about Lily's question all night, and all the next day--the first day of classes. Professor McGonagall (the Transfiguration teacher and Gryffindor Head of House) started handing out schedules during breakfast that morning. It took her a while to get all of the schedules out--sixth years were the worst considering they had to make sure they were able to take classes based on their O.W.L scores.

I waited after I ate my breakfast for McGonagall to get to me--Alice was one of the first because hers was on the top of the stack.

"I'll meet you in Potions," I told her as she left, smiling (I knew I'd gotten into that class because I'd gotten an O last term, and Alice and I had both run into Professor Slughorn on the way to breakfast).

"Miss Livings?" McGonagall called, and I ran over to where she was standing.

"Ah, Miss Livings, let me see," she said and peered down at my schedule through her spectacles. I sometimes got the suspicion that that she was critiquing everything I did. "You're still wanting to become an Auror, am I correct?"

I nodded eagerly, hoping that I was still able to take the right courses for that field.

"Well," McGonagall said and raised her head to look at me. "All of your classes are in order. Potions and Charms are your first morning classes."

I laughed out of relief. "Thanks, Professor!" I said in a cheerful tone, and turned to walk out.

But then I saw Peter, walking up to McGonagall in a doomed sort of fashion. I remembered that the only reason he'd passed his classes in the years previously was because of the help of the Marauders.

"Aha, Mr. Pettigrew," I heard our professor say sternly as she looked over his papers. "You're very lucky you passed Transfiguration and Potions last year."

Peter nodded weakly. It was times like that when I felt sorry for the poor boy. He was part of the Marauders, but wasn't really at the same time. None of the girls paid attention to him, he was horrible in school, and was very quiet.

I stood next to the entrance of the Great Hall and listened.

"You do know that you are going to have to do some very heavy work in order to pass your seventh year?"

"Yes, Professor, I do--"

"And you will not be able to rely on Mr. Potter, Mr. Black OR Mr. Lupin for help on the N.E.W.T.S."

"I know, Professor."

Peter looked so sad, and my heart felt for him truly. When he finally was able to get his schedule from McGonagall, I walked over to him and smiled thoughtfully. "What's your first class today, Peter?"

He looked up at me, startled. "Oh, uh…" Peter scanned his schedule to check. "I have Potions today. What about you?"

"The same," I responded. "Want to walk with me?"

Peter nodded and we started out of the Great Hall and down the stairs, descending to the dungeons. "How was your summer?" I asked, hoping we could at least talk a little.

"It was fine," he told me. "I didn't get to do much. Mum likes to have me at home."

"Oh," I said. "Well, Alice and I spent most of the summer at my house. It was quite fun."

"Neat."

"Yeah."

A pause emitted between us as our footsteps were the only things heard clunking down the stairs. It was getting colder because we were getting further and further beneath the castle. I took this moment to cast a glance over at Peter, who was staring down at his feet as he walked.

"So… you… like stuff?"

I looked at Peter strangely. "Depends on what kind of stuff you're referring to," I responded slowly. "I have hobbies."

"Oh," he said.

"And I like hanging out with my friends."

"That's always good."

I smiled broadly and saw that we were coming up to the Potions door. "You're lucky you're good friends with the Marauders," I started. "It's really a nice trait to know that you have loyalties."

When I looked over at Peter then, his face had become deathly pale. "I… you're… you're right, Janie," he said and moved quickly into the classroom without saying another word to me.

I raised an eyebrow, but then pushed the conversation out of my mind as I took a seat next to Alice. "What took you so long?" she asked me curiously as I pulled out my supplies for the class.

"Nothing, just got a bit… sidetracked," I responded, but wasn't able to say anything else because Professor Slughorn had entered the dungeon.

Now, before I go on, I should probably tell you a bit about Professor Slughorn. He was a short, fat, bald man who looks more like a Buddha than anything else. He'd taught Potions at Hogwarts for a VERY long time.

Read: He was old.

He also loved to be connected to power. Oh, yes, Professor Slughorn thought that if he fawned over students that had connections to higher authority, he would get within that inner circle. And he was right. Kids who were smart, like Lily and myself, were absolutely adored by the toad like man.

Slughorn even made this club up for his favoured students: The Slug Club. I, unfortunately, was a part of it (as was Lily) and we were forced throughout the years to attend the stupid parties that he would throw.

"Don't get too comfy in your seats, now!" Slughorn said as he entered the dungeon and looked around excitedly. His protruding eyes scanned the class and lingered on the group. "This year I want to do something different with my classes. I'm going to put each of you into groups of three, and you will stay in those groups all year."

There was a collective groan from the class and James looked over at me. He saw this whole thing as amusing.

"Now, now!" Slughorn said and his stomach jiggled. "This is not a bad thing, not a bad thing at all! The groups will be like the houses. You will earn grades by working together on projects, and will lose grades for disagreeing or not getting along with your partners."

I glanced at Alice and scowled. There was a definite chance that we weren't going to be in the same group--in fact, I was sure Slughorn would split us up.

"Listen as I call your name," he continued, and cleared his throat. "James Potter, Alice Logan, Lily Evans."

I almost laughed as James stood up quickly and moved over to where Lily was sitting. I saw her hit her head on the top of her desk.

"See you after class," Alice whispered and moved over to her new group.

"Yeah," I responded, looking at my best friend and realizing that I wasn't going to have much time to spend with her this year. Hopefully I'd get paired up with people who would pull their weight as far as work.

"Peter Pettigrew, Frank Longbottom, Adaley McDonald."

Okay, still not me. I sat there as Slughorn named people in groups, and felt myself dreading who was going to be paired with me.

"Jane Livings, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black."

Damn it. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't dreaming. "Professor Slughorn," I voiced, feeling my whole body shake. "Is there any way I can be put in a different group?"

Slughorn sent me a small smile. "Ah, Miss Livings, I think that this will do you a bit of good," he responded, and shuffled off to get ready for the lesson. That was all he said.

I was doomed. There was no other way of putting it. I was stuck in a group with Sirius Black. How could things possibly get worse?

"Well, Livings, it looks like we're going to be seeing a lot more of each other." I heard Sirius's cocky voice behind me, and I sighed.

"We're only partners in Potions," I told him sternly. "I'll say everything I have to say to you to Remus."

Remus had come over to my table as I'd said that, and I smiled a pleasant smile at him. "Ready to get to potion making?"

He nodded. "Now, this group isn't going to get awkward, is it?"

Remus was a smart one. "I'll do my best not to," I reasoned and turned my head towards Sirius. "What about you?"

"There's nothing to be awkward about, Janie," he said and sat down next to me. "Let's get to learning."

Rolling my eyes, the class awaited instruction from Slughorn. We were to be making a potion for protection. Something light, according to our professor. I opted to get the ingredients from the cupboard, and started stuffing my pockets with the necessary bottles of Anise, Basil, Bay, Cedar wood, Cinnamon, Clove, Cypress, Eucalyptus, Frankincense, Geranium, Lavender, Lemongrass, Lime, Myrrh, Niaouli, Patchouli, Pennyroyal, Rose, Sandalwood, and Vetivert.

"Alright, we have to stir in the Anise, Basil, and Cedar wood clockwise for three stirs, and then counterclockwise for seven stirs for five minutes," Remus read off from the book. I nodded to let him know I understood, and grabbed for the stirrer.

Unfortunately, Sirius got it before I did. "Gotta be quicker, Livings," he said and winked at me. His dimples were showing, and I scowled furiously.

"Why don't you let me stir the ingredients, Sirius," I said and stretched my arm out, "because you're going to mess it up."

Sirius frowned at me. "How am I going to mess it up? Do you know this for a fact?"

Remus slapped his hand to his forehead. "Guys, let's just do this. I don't want to have to start acting like a teacher."

"Moony, it's fine," said Sirius as he leaned against the cauldron. "Livings just has to learn when to not be so anal about things."

"How am I anal?" I questioned.

"You have to control EVERYTHING," Sirius said. "You have to be in charge."

I laughed. "Are you kidding me? You're the one who thinks you're the gift of God!"

I couldn't believe he was trying to make me insane when we had a class assignment! "You need to just shut up and sit down!"

Remus stared at me, a pleased twinkle in his eyes. I could tell that he thought that me telling Sirius off was the most interesting thing he'd seen in a good while, and I couldn't help but feel the same.

Sirius pursed his lips and then started to hand the stirrer to me. When I reached to take it, he pulled it back. "Say please?"

"Give me the stirrer, Sirius."

"Only if you say please, Livings."

"Sirius, I don't want to fail."

"Give her the stirrer, Padfoot."

"Stay out of this, Moony."

"Sirius, give me the stirrer! I don't want to fail! I've never failed anything in my life!"

Sirius could tell I was furious, and since he was the king of pissing me off, he just grinned. "There's a first time for everything."

That was it. I was _pissed_. "SIRIUS BLACK! GIVE ME THE STIRRER, OR I SWEAR TO YOU I'LL HEX YOU WITH THE MOST COMPLEX SPELL I KNOW!"

"Is there a problem over here?"

I felt my face turn beet red as Professor Slughorn came waddling over, his face contorted in confusion. "What's going on?"

Remus spoke up first, clearly still amused. "Sir, these two will not be able to work together in a group effort. It's impossible, because Janie hates Sirius and Sirius lives to make Janie angry."

Sirius shot Remus a hard glare.

There was something about Slughorn's eyes when he heard Remus's statement that made me feel a little uneasy. "Ah, well, I'm sure Miss Livings and Mr. Black can fix their problems in a couple of detentions," he said casually.

My mouth literally hit the floor. "De… detention? I've never gotten a detention in my entire life, sir! I don't think it's fair when I was made to get angry! He's the one--"

"It's not a serious detention," Slughorn assured me. "Just so you and Mr. Black here can finish this potion without endangering Mr. Lupin's life." He chuckled and then walked over to see how James's group was going.

Lily looked just about as angry as I was, James was simply ecstatic, and Alice was busy measuring the ingredients they needed to add to their potion next.

I couldn't believe I'd managed to get a detention with Sirius Black.

He was going to pay. I was going to make sure he did.


	4. Chapter 3: Detention For The KnowItAll

Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

**Detention For The Know-It-All**

The week went by excruciatingly slow and it was as if I was seeing Sirius everywhere I went. Good thing he wasn't a girl because by the time Friday rolled around, I was almost expecting him to jump out from the loo next to mine, waiting to torment me.

We had our first Defense class that Friday, and everyone was excited to see Professor Medlata in action. Unfortunately, we had to take it with the Slytherins. Alice and I walked to class together because we'd both just gotten done with our afternoon break.

"D'you think she's gonna be any good?" asked Alice in a hushed voice as we unpacked our things at our desk.

I shrugged carelessly and looked over my shoulder to see if Sirius was there. I'd been getting the feeling that he was watching me. "Search me," I said to her. "I suppose we're going to find out in a little bit."

The door to the class opened and Professor Medlata stepped in. She looked exactly like she did at our first dinner, except her robes were a deep cerulean shade. She smiled regally at the class and walked up to the front. "I know that in the past, you all haven't had the best luck with teachers in this subject."

_Thank you, Captain Obvious,_ I thought sarcastically.

"I have been requested by Dumbledore to only teach one year, in order for him to find a more… suitable replacement. This does not really concern you, all, as it is your seventh and final year here. However, I want each and every one of you to work diligently in this class. The N.E.W.T. testing is serious business, and you have to pass those in order to graduate."

I was impressed by Professor Medlata's words. She seemed dedicated enough to the subject, and would hopefully challenge me to reveal my fullest potential.

"Today," she continued, "we are going to concern ourselves with Patronuses. Does anyone know what a Patronus is?"

Mine and Lily's hands shot up in the air. Professor Medlata pointed to Lily to answer the question, causing me to scowl.

"A Patronus is basically a shield barrier between the wizard who conjured it and a Dementor. Because Dementors feed off of your worst thoughts and memories, producing a Patronus means thinking of your happiest memory and repeating the proper incantation."

Professor Medlata looked simply delighted at Lily's explanation. I scowled even more. I could've said it better.

"Excellent, excellent, Miss--?"

"Evans, ma'am. Lily Evans."

Professor Medlata smiled thoughtfully. "Excellent, Miss Evans. Take ten points for Gryffindor. Now, can anybody tell me the incantation to produce a Patronus?"

My hand was in the air before Lily's, and she pointed to me.

"The proper incantation is _Expecto Patronum_."

"Well done, Miss Livings!" she said, and I looked at her. How did she know my surname?

"I had a little chat with Professor Slughorn about you," Professor Medlata said as if reading my mind. "He said you and Mr. Black are quite a pair."

I didn't dare look at anyone then. My face was burning and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. Teachers were talking about me? I was just little Janie Livings, the girl who does well in every subject. "Oh, he did?" I asked finally. God, that was embarrassing. No doubt Slughorn was having a good chuckle about the situation in Potions earlier that week. He'd set mine and Sirius's detentions for the next two Saturday evenings.

Professor Medlata's eyes were twinkling in delight, and then turned her attention back to the rest of the class. We were paired off with someone from the other house, and I was unfortunately put together with Severus Snape.

I couldn't BELIEVE my luck. First detention, now Snape-watch.

He skulked over to the seat next to me and gave me a loathing stare.

How sweet.

"What we are going to do today," Professor Medlata said and leaned against her desk, "is practice trying to produce a visible Patronus. You and your partner will take turns, of course, and don't be upset if you don't see any progress today. This sort of magic is not just reading and writing. You have to _feel_ it. You have to keep that one thought--that one happy memory--with you. I will be walking around and checking on you as you work."

I looked at Snape and sighed. "D'you want to go first?"

He shrugged. "Let's just get this over with. I don't want to be near you any longer than I have to be."

"Fine, I'll go first," I said, as though he hadn't just insulted me. I closed my eyes tightly and tried to think of a happy memory. There was my first broom ride, my first day of Hogwarts, my O.W.L. test results… what could I use?

I decided finally on seeing the Hogwarts Express for the first time, readied my stance, and said, _"Expecto Patronum!"_

Nothing.

Damn.

Snape laughed at me, his waxy skin shining in the dim light of the room. "What memory did you pick?" he sneered, his eyes glinting. "When you first met Black on the train?"

"That's none of your concern," I snapped and my wand arm hung at my side. Why hadn't my memory worked? "Why don't you try?"

"It's still your turn," Snape responded lightly. He was amused by this.

Close by, Sirius was partnered up with Harriet Bulstrode, and having the most horrible time. He looked over at me and sighed, shrugging his shoulders. He was basically saying, _'Hey, at least I didn't get stuck with Snivellus.'._

"I'll try one more time," I said as I turned my attention back on my partner. "I'll try, but then you have to."

Snape nodded curtly, and I closed my eyes again. _What thought… what thought can I use? I don't really have happy memories, per say, but some are decent. And what did Snape mean about when I met Sirius on the train? Is he being snide again? Ah… well… it's the only memory I can think of right now, so I might as well use it._ I raised my wand arm up and said, _"Expecto Patronum!" _

There was no mistaking the tiny, TINY silvery whisp that escaped my wand that time. I squealed with joy and jumped up and down in my place. Professor Medlata came over to where I was and was grinning triumphantly. "Progress, Miss Livings?"

I nodded. "I actually made something come out of my wand! It was silver, like the Patronus is supposed to be!"

Professor Medlata clapped her hands together. "Wonderful! Take ten more points for Gryffindor! And what, may I ask, was the memory that you used?"

Oh, no. I couldn't answer.

It was the Sirius memory.

Why hadn't my other memory worked? I was becoming delusional. "My first time on a broom," I muttered, knowing that Sirius AND Snape were watching me carefully.

I needed to get out of there.

"Livings! Oi, slow down!"

I'd left Defense class in a hurry, poor Alice confused as to why I'd gone so fast. I just needed to get out of there. Snape was acting like he knew something I didn't for the rest of the class period, and Sirius kept prodding me in the back with his wand to get my attention. I, however, did not want to talk to him. And here he was, chasing me down the corridor after classes, calling my name.

"You don't know how to take a hint, do you?" I mumbled and quickened my pace.

"Livings!"

I turned around, and Sirius finally caught up with me. He was a little out of breath. _Good,_ I thought. _At least he had to work to actually talk to me._ "What do you want?"

Sirius stood up straight and quirked an eyebrow. "I wanted to talk to you. Why else would I have run after you? You know I don't do anything physical unless I have to."

"Or it counts snogging," I added.

"Good point."

I glared at him. "What do you want?" I felt as though I was constantly repeating myself, because Sirius NEVER got it that I didn't want to talk to him. I had stuff on my mind that needed to be sorted out in _peace._

Sirius shifted his weight from one foot to the other and then looked at me. "What was with you in class today?"

I did my best to look like I didn't understand his question. "There was nothing 'with me' in class today, Sirius, thank you. Now if you'll excuse me—"

"You were acting spazzy."

I scowled at him. "I was not."

"You were, too."

"Shut up before I slam your face in a wall."

"You shut up before I show you how physical I can get."

I glared daggers at Sirius. He really knew what to say to piss me off. After seven years his skills had perfected.

Woe is me. "Please get to your point, because I have to finish my homework for Charms," I said and adjusted the bag on my shoulder so it wouldn't dig into my skin. "And you're wasting my valuable time."

"I'm wasting your time?" Sirius questioned. "You're mental, Livings."

"Yeah, and you're a prat," I responded. "If you really want to talk to me, wait until tomorrow when we have the detention that YOU caused me to get."

I walked off, not daring to look back at him.

"I'm going to die, Alice. Please, just curse me now because if I have to spend the entire night with Sirius Black in detention, I'm going to become either suicidal, or I'm going to commit a murder."

Alice laughed at me as we ate our dinner in the Great Hall. She and Frank had finally set their first back to school date for October 12th (the first Hogsmeade weekend). We'd been giggling girlishly ever since she told me the news--but somehow she'd gotten me on the topic of my impending detention.

"You're not going to die," Alice said, and I noticed that she didn't deny the fact that I was going to murder him. "You're just going to finish your potion. That way, you won't fail."

"It's his fault I'm there in the first place," I said stubbornly and drank my apple juice. "He hates me so much that he wants to make my last year at Hogwarts a living hell."

"Oh, pish, tosh," said Alice in a non-believing tone.

"Don't 'pish, tosh me, Alice. I'm serious. He is going to be the death of me."

I glanced down the table to where the Marauders were sitting and talking in hushed whispers. James was looking around, Remus was smirking about something, Peter had a worrisome expression (as usual), and Sirius was rolling his eyes. What were they talking about?

Alice and I went up to the common room after dinner, and when it was time for my detention, I waved good-bye (of course, being dramatic as to make Alice laugh). I headed on down to the dungeons and peered inside the already open Potions door.

Sirius was already in there, and he turned his head to face me. He was sitting on top of my desk, waving his wand over the already set up cauldron.

"I thought this was a group effort," I said, and he smiled.

"It is," he responded slowly. "I was just helping the process along a little. Professor Slughorn's in a meeting with McGonagall, so we'd better finish this potion before he gets back. Moony'll have my head if I get him a failing grade for this."

His comment made me think of the four Marauders at dinner, talking about something serious--but I opted not asking Sirius about it. "I'll get the ingredients," I said instead and once again pulled out all we needed from the storage cupboard.

Sirius stirred the protection potion while I read off the directions. It was strange actually being civil towards him. We barely spoke one word to one another as we added the final ingredients and turned on the burner underneath.

"Now we just have to wait for it to boil," I said and sat down on the floor. "It shouldn't be long."

To my surprise, Sirius sat down on the floor next to me and grinned. "Janie?"

"Don't call me that," I barked immediately.

Sirius stared at me curiously, the same way he'd looked at me the day before. "Why not?"

I froze, not sure of what to respond with. "Because when you say my first name, you do this weird thing with your mouth. It's not funny to make fun of my name. I like it, you know."

"What weird thing with my mouth?" Sirius asked, and started laughing. "You must be paranoid if you're watching my mouth when I say your name, _Janie."_

"I am not paranoid, _Sirius."_

Sirius smirked, his dimples very visible. Damn. "I like when you call me Sirius. Next step and we'll be on pet names."

I could never win. I heard the potion start to boil and I leapt up from my seat. Sirius went on the other side and peered down into the cauldron. "It looks gross," I said and made a face. All of the elements had somehow molded together to form a gooey, green mass.

"Yeah, well, that's what it's supposed to look like," Sirius said as he glanced at the picture in our textbook. "We made it right."

"And without arguing."

"Yeah."

I sighed out of relief. "Now what?"

Sirius looked at me in a stupid way. "Does it look like I know?"

"Maybe we should stay until Professor Slughorn gets back," I suggested, ignoring Sirius's last statement. "I think that would be best."

"Fine," he finally said and sat down at my desk. "Sluggy better hurry up. I've got some unfinished business to attend to."

"Finding your next snogging partner?" I quipped.

Sirius was not amused. "No," he said testily, "but thanks for being interested."

I didn't say anything then. For some reason, Lily's question from the other day was lingering in my mind: _"What if I start falling for him?"_

_No. No, no, no, _I thought to myself._ Sirius Black is a jerk, a… jerk, and there is no possible way I could EVER have feelings for him. EVER._

"Livings? You home?"

I saw Sirius move closer to wave a hand in my face.

"Move, Sirius. I was just thinking," I said and pushed his hand away.

"You had this dreamy look on your face," Sirius grinned. "Thinking about me, eh? I knew you couldn't resist me and my charm."

"Shove off," I said, but I wasn't as forceful as usual. In fact, I was feeling downright panicky. "I wasn't thinking of anything that you should be concerned with."

"Ah, Livings, you can tell me," said Sirius as he put his hands behind his head. "You may hate me, but you can still trust me."

"Thanks?" I said, forming a question.

"Anytime."

I rolled my eyes in response. "Trust me," I started, "this is something that you don't want to know."

Before he could respond, Professor Slughorn bounded into the classroom, looking quite upset. "Ah, you two finished?" he said. "Well done, well done. You may go. And remember, you have one more detention for next Saturday. Same time."

He inclined his head and went into his office and shut the door.

I quirked an eyebrow at Sirius. "What was that about?" I asked.

"Dunno," said Sirius. "Probably nothing that concerns us."

"Oh, shut it," I snapped. "I'm going to bed."

"Want me to walk you?"

I stopped. Sirius asked to walk me to the common room?

"I mean, I'm going the same way," he started, "and you never know who could be lurking in the corridors. I'm not trying to be nice, so you can relax."

For the first time that night, a genuine smile flittered across my face. "You can walk me," I told him, "but only if you promise me one thing."

Sirius looked apprehensive. "What?"

I grinned. "Promise me you won't make a move? I know that I'm simply irresistible, but you must control those raging male hormones."

He laughed, and it sounded like a high-pitched bark. "Livings, _that_ is something you can count on."


	5. Chapter 4: Jealousy In Hogsmeade

Chapter Four

**Chapter Four**

**Jealousy In Hogsmeade**

Over the next few weeks, Sirius and I were civil to one another. I called him by his surname, Black, and he called me Janie--something the Marauders as well as the rest of Gryffindor Tower noticed right away.

James kept cornering me and asking what had happened to make Sirius and I act so nice towards each other. "You didn't snog, did you?" he'd asked the third time he'd stopped me in the hall.

See what I had to deal with?

It was a wonder that I even was able to get to my classes on time with the way people were stopping me to ask me, "why the change of heart?"

It _wasn't_ a change of heart.

A week before the first Hogsmeade weekend, Alice and I had a long talk about everything going on with our lives. I kept mine and Sirius's conversation in detention to myself, though.

And don't even give me the look, because I know what you're thinking. Alice was my best friend, but sometimes things should be kept quiet.

She did bring up the subject of Sirius, though. "I've noticed that you two haven't been snapping at each other so much," Alice started, "and I don't think that's normal behaviour."

"Since when would you know what's normal?" I asked pointedly.

"Well, you and Sirius being kind is a universal weird thing," she countered.

Justice did not apparently exist in the world I lived in. "Eh, we're just maturing is all," I said and shrugged carelessly. "I wish everyone would stop prying and leave it alone. Can't two individuals ever grow up?"

"Not you and Sirius," Alice said.

I scowled. "And why not?"

"You know why, Janie. It's just… strange. I'm sure that with time, people will get used to it, but right now it's strange."

As the days rolled by, I felt more and more excited for the Hogsmeade trip. True, I was going alone, but I still couldn't wait. Maybe I'd run into Lily or someone and get a Butterbeer from the Three Broomsticks.

Whatever the case, the whole school was buzzing about the upcoming Saturday. I'd heard the rumour that Sirius was going to ask Eiley Miller to go with him, and that really bothered me. Don't get me wrong--Eiley is an alright girl, being a smart Ravenclaw and trendy with all the latest hairstyles--but Sirius? And her?

It was unfathomable.

Unthinkable.

So why was it bothering me so much? It really shouldn't have made my stomach turn like it was doing. Sirius wasn't even my friend.

He was less than a friend.

I pushed that gnawing feeling of annoyance out of my mind and went on with my classes. Finally, Saturday morning arrived. I woke up at the sound of giggling from the edge of my bed.

"Janie?" I heard Lily's voice say. "Janie? Ah, she's still asleep," I heard her say in an undertone to the other person.

"I'm awake, shut up," I groaned and opened my eyes. Sure enough, Lily and Alice were sitting on the edge of my bed, smiling. "What are you two doing here?"

"Hello? Hogsmeade!" Lily laughed. "Everyone's getting ready to go down and leave!"

I sat up. "WHAT?" I screamed and ran to my trunk full of clean clothes. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TWO WAKE ME UP SOONER?"

Alice and Lily shared a puzzled glance. "Calm down," Alice said soothingly. "I told Frank I'd meet him in Zonko's Joke Shop, and Lily said she'd spend the day with you! And we also thought we'd all meet at the Three Broomsticks for lunch."

I nodded and started pulling out clothes to wear. Lily and Alice ended up choosing my outfit for me, because I was too frazzled. I ended up in a dark blue long sleeved shirt and my black gray flares. Nothing fancy, which was what I was comfortable in.

I pulled my mousy brown hair into a ponytail like I did every day and the three of us traipsed down to where the students were meeting.

"Third years, gather round, gather round," I heard Professor McGonagall call out, causing me to grin widely.

I was a _seventh year._ Boss. I didn't have to deal with parental consent forms or anything like that.

"Janie, come on!"

Alice was yelling for me to follow her, and I laughed openly. "Okay, okay!" I called back and ran to catch up.

Hogsmeade was packed with people. It was hard maneuvering around everyone, and I don't know how many times someone stepped on my foot and didn't even apologize. Lily and I said good bye to Alice as she went off to Zonko's to meet up with her beau. It was just the two of us then.

"Where to?" I asked and looked at Lily, waiting for an answer.

"Anywhere _but_ the Quidditch Supply Shop," she replied, and we both knew what the other was thinking; Sirius and James would most likely be in there.

It occurred to me then that Lily and I were in very similar situations. She had hated James since the first year, and he'd adored her. Now she was worried that she might actually reciprocate his feelings.

I, on the other hand, hated Sirius for seven years, and he hated me. Well, it was more along the lines of a mutual "distaste" for one another. But lately I'd been thinking about how I truly felt about him.

Could I possibly--dare I say it--feel something for him?

Ew. No way. Sirius Black was gross, and there was no way I could ever feel anything more than a sort of hatred towards him.

"Right," I said as I came back to the present moment. "How about the dress robe shop? I need to buy new ones for Slughorn's stupid ball in December, anyways."

Oh, yeah--remember the whole _"Slug Club"_ thing? The first party was to be in November, but the biggest one was always his formal Christmas party. Dress robes required.

"Alright," said Lily, "I'll get mine as well while we're there." The two of us fought through the ocean of people and finally entered the shop.

There were so many choices that I wasn't sure of where to begin. I mean, I'm not exactly small and petite. I was tall with a rather large chest and a curvy figure. It was always hard to find clothing--especially formal wear--that fit me right. My fingers trailed down the fabrics of the different dresses, wondering which would look the best with my complexion.

"Oooh," started Lily, "Janie! Look at this!"

She held up a very flattering green dress robe set. The cloak clasped around the neck with an emerald stud, and the dress was strapless, poofing out at the bottom. With Lily's eyes, it was a stunning ensemble. "And it's frilly," she said, grinning at her choice. "This is the one I _have_ to get."

I smiled back at her. "Now I have to find something for me."

"I'll help," Lily offered, and went to the next aisle of dress robes.

And then I saw them.

I looked out the window with mere chance, and saw Sirius holding hands with Eiley Miller. My heart began to beat faster and faster. My hands curled into fists.

So he had asked her. My insides literally boiled. What could he possibly see in her? She was just your average smart Ravenclaw bimbo--oh, wait. That's what he liked. Sirius was always up for a good snog.

I quickly got out of sight in the next row where Lily was and pushed her head down. "Look out the window!" I said.

Lily scowled. "I can't if you keep pushing my head down!"

Oops. "Sorry, Lily," I said and moved my hand.

"What's going on?" Lily asked. "Why am I looking out the window?"

"Just look!"

She did. "Sirius Black and Eiley Miller?"

"I know!"

"She's such a duff!" Lily said in my ear. "What the hell is Sirius thinking?"

"He's such a pig for dating her," I said in a whisper.

She cocked an eyebrow at me. "Can I ask why this is bothering you so much?" Lily questioned, putting a hand on her hips.

I, in turn, laughed falsely. "I don't care, Lily," I said, "but I think that he should have better taste."

The rest of the morning Lily and I spent in silence. We finally found a gown for me, though and it was absolutely lovely. I never would've picked to wear something like it, but I couldn't help but purchase it. We left the robe shop and traveled to the Three Broomsticks, where we were supposed to meet Alice and Frank.

"It's awfully noisy in here," I shouted to Lily above the talking; she didn't hear me.

Alice and Frank were at a large table in the corner of the room, and they waved us over. "What took you two so long?" asked Alice when we got over there and sat down with our purchases. "Frank and I were starting to worry."

I rolled my eyes at my best friend's comment. "Were you about to send out a search party?"

Frank laughed, his brown eyes dancing in the light. "No, but I was about to go for you all. There are too many people here and it's easy to get lost."

That I could agree on. "I'm gonna go get a Butterbeer," I said loudly so they could hear. I stood up and tried to fit through the throng of people--and failed miserably. I hated crowds. My breath was getting faster and harsher, and I could feel myself becoming unbalanced. Why me?

I was conscious enough to get out of the Three Broomsticks for some air, and as I left the establishment, I fell into someone's arms.

Remus's arms.

He looked quite alarmed at my pale face. "Janie!" he exclaimed and helped me to a near by bench (it's funny how those convenient things just pop up when you need them). "Are you alright?"

I couldn't speak, yet Remus seemed to know what had happened. Good ol' Remus. "Here," he said and handed me an unwrapped bar of chocolate. "It's not a cure, but it always makes me feel better."

Boy, he was right. That chocolate did wonders for me from the very first bite. "You're a life saver, Remus," I commented and took another large mouthful of chocolate.

"You should probably get back up to the castle," he responded lightly. "Want me to take you?"

I shook my head and we both stood up. "If you could, Lily and Alice are in the Three Broomsticks . Just tell them I took to feeling ill and had to leave. And keep James away from Lily," I added.

"I'll do that," said Remus. He walked past me and into the building while I started my trek back to school. The chocolate was working its way into my system and I was beginning to feel better.

That was, until I saw Sirius and Eiley walking. Together.

Holding hands. They walked over to me and stopped.

"Hi," I said oddly.

"Hello," said Eiley, her tone cold. Sirius looked at the ground.

I was feeling faint again, though I was sure it wasn't from the amount of people near me. "Erm... well..." I said, feeling stupid, "I should go. Nearly passed out back there."

Sirius looked up at that. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," I assured him. "Hope you have fun on the rest of your date."

I walked off, feeling worse than I'd ever felt in my life.


	6. Chapter 5: Sirius's Point of View

_Um, so… this is chapter five, and it's told in Sirius's point of view. I rather enjoyed writing and editing this chapter because I LOVE writing as Sirius. I used to do a lot of rping as him… so yeah. I really hope ya'll enjoy this. C/C is encouraged! Love, Aubree._

**Chapter Five**

**Sirius's Point of View**

Ask me about Jane Livings. Go on, ask me.

She's tall, curvy, with bland brown hair, pale eyes, and a horrible sense of humor--not to mention her favourite past time is studying.

Now ask me about Janie.

She's a firecracker; tall, same bland hair, pale eyes, and studying is still her oxygen--but I don't think I've ever loved anyone more in my entire life.

And I'd known it since day one, when we'd met on the Hogwarts Express. I'd insulted her intelligence and she'd responded with something witty, as was her style.

I'd known she was special. But when I was eleven, girls were still infested with cooties, and any bloke who liked one was weird. That's why I took up teasing Janie as a fun extra-curricular.

Back then I didn't fully understand what I felt for her, but as I got older, it became more apparent, and more and more of a threat. So being me, I teased her mercilessly. Prongs often told me to back off a bit on it, but I never listened. If I stopped teasing, I knew I'd feel other things for Janie that I wasn't ready to feel.

During the summer before my sixth year, I moved out of my house and in with the Potters. I'd had enough of my mother and father beating me, so after one fairly big argument, I went to my room, packed my things, and snuck out through the window. I found out a week later that my Uncle Alphard passed away. He'd left me a pretty hefty amount of gold from his vault in Gringotts. That seemed to be the last straw for my mother.

"YOU BETRAYER! HOW COULD YOU HAVE LEFT MY WRETCHED FILTH OF A SON SO MUCH, AND LEAVE MY REGULUS EMPTY-HANDED?" she screamed over and over when she'd made me Floo to the main house.

You see, my younger brother, Regulus Black, was the pride and hope of the family. Since I became the first Black in history to be put in a house other than Slytherin, everyone wanted Regulus to be the shining star. It really blew because he didn't have much say in the matter. If he wanted to live he had to stay away from me. No communication at all. And Regulus followed those rules... most of the time.

When our cousins graduated from Hogwarts, it became easier for Regulus and I to find time to see each other. I was glad because he could always get my mind off of Janie. Regulus would usually have information about Bellatrix and the others who had... how should I say... taken a liking to the upcoming Lord Voldemort.

The Marauders and I kept a close watch on all the Slytherins on our latest creation: the Marauders Map. It looked like an ordinary bit of parchment, but when the right words get used ('I solomly swear that I am up to no good!'), the parchment becomes a full scale map of Hogwarts. If you're trying to sneak around for some reason, the map can always find you. Pretty cool, eh?

Sometimes I'd watch the map to see where Janie was--and I think Moony and Prongs knew how I felt. They're the best kind of friends anyone could ask for because even though they already knew something was there, they didn't say anything to me about it.

That's the problem with you girls. You pledge to your friends that you won't tell a soul about whatever secret you're getting--and then you turn around and tell the entire school. It's ridiculous.

But I'm getting off topic. When I started my seventh year of Hogwarts, I knew everything was going to change... I could feel it.

And something _did_ change.

Janie.

My feelings were stronger than ever before for her, and it was harder to argue without snogging her senseless in front of everyone. I could tell that she was becoming increasingly uncomfortable around me, too.

Which was a _good_ thing.

Maybe I had a chance--but I didn't want to screw it up. Janie thought (like the rest of school) that I was a "ladies man". I mean, just because I liked to have a make out session every now and then did NOT make me a "ladies man".

After I got Janie and myself in Potions detention, I thought for sure that she'd warm up to me.

Bingo.

We became civil to one another. It was a miracle within itself because FINALLY something was going in the direction I'd wanted it to.

And people talked. I knew that it bothered Janie, but I didn't really care. People are always gonna talk about you, so you might as well accept it and move on.

Prongs and Moony and Wormtail cornered me in the dormitory about a week before Hogsmeade to question what the hell I was doing and what I was planning on doing.

"If you like her so much," Moony said thoughtfully as he munched on a bar of chocolate, "then just tell her."

"And that would work so well, considering she thinks I'm a walking snog machine," I retorted. "You're mental. Off your rocker. Janie and I are too different. You see us every day, fighting--"

"That was before you started getting cozy in detention," James quipped and I sent him a look.

"Shut up, Prongs."

"You like Janie. Who's to say she doesn't like you?"

"I'm in the same exact position as you, Prongs!" I swore loudly. "Lily hates you. Janie strongly dislikes me, no matter how much you deny it. End of story."

Peter took a drink of pumpkin juice (we'd been to the kitchens earlier) and sighed. "Maybe you could just ask her to go with you to Hogsmeade."

I shook my head. "She wouldn't say yes."

"But you don't know that!"

"And I'm not going to because I've already asked Eiley Miller to go with me."

Moony shook his head while Prongs beamed at me. "The jealousy trick? Sirius, I've never been more proud."

So on that Saturday, Eiley and I met up in the courtyard and went to Hogsmeade. She was pretty with really bright blue eyes and loved a lot of the things I did. I had fun with her, going into the Three Broomsticks, the Quidditch Supply Shop, and the other little shops around the area.

And then we ran into Janie.

That turned out to be the most awkward conversation of my entire life. "Hope you have fun on the rest of your date," she said in a hurt voice, and started for the castle. I let her go, too.

"C'mon, Siri," Eiley said (I hated that she called me Siri. Who does that?) jovially. "Let's get a Butterbeer! I'm absolutely parched!"

Oy, vey.


	7. Chapter 6: Hospital Secrets

**Chapter Six**

**Hospital Secrets**

I went up to the castle that day, half hoping Sirius would come after me and ask me what was wrong, but he didn't. I spent the remainder of my Hogsmeade day in my dormitory. I didn't talk to Alice when she came in to ask if I was alright. Instead I pretended to be asleep so she'd leave. Lily came in as well shortly after, but I faked sleep again.

I didn't know what was going on with me, but I did know that I didn't like it.

I kept reliving the scene outside the Three Broomsticks with Sirius and Eiley. Although I tried to deny it, every time I relived it I also relived that pang of...jealousy? No, it couldn't be. Why would I be jealous of that prat? There was nothing to be jealous about; Sirius Black was someone I would never, EVER, even consider having feelings for.

Right?

I skipped breakfast on Sunday, which I suppose made Alice start to truly worry. She came into the dormitory around eleven in the morning and sat down on the floor next to my bed. "You need to get up."

"I don't want to," I said back defiantly, covering my face with the nearest maroon pillow.

Alice scowled. "Janie Livings, you better tell me what's going on before I start jumping to conclusions."

And that was when I knew I had to say something. I couldn't keep my thoughts bottled inside of me forever. Alice had been there for me more than anyone else, and she deserved to know what the hell was going on in my head. I sat up and moved my brown hair away from my face. "I'm really confused," I said to her. "REALLY confused."

"About?"

Damn her and her questions. "About... things," I responded evasively. So maybe the whole "confess-everything-to-Alice" plan was going downhill.

She sent me a look. "Janie, please tell me. Lily has been worried about you, too. For Merlin's sake, Frank is even worried! When Remus told us what happened to you outside the Three Broomsticks, we all nearly died."

"Look, Alice," I started and rolled my eyes. "I was just getting a bit claustrophobic, that's all. There were a lot of people in there that day. You know it freaks me out; I just started having an attack, that's all."

Alice raised an eyebrow. I hated how she did that. I could never do it. It gave her a look that she knew something else was going on. In a disbelieving tone, she asked, "You're confused about being claustrophobic?"

Dammit. She _did_ know something else was going on.

"Well, other stuff happened, okay!"

"What stuff Janie? You can tell me, you know you can. I'm your best frie--hang on," Alice said, her face dawning with comprehension. "You saw Sirius out there didn't you? He said he ran into you that day outside the Three Broomsticks. Janie, don't let him and his arrogant remarks get to you! They never have before!"

"It's not his arrogance, Alice!"

"So it _is_ him then? Okay, well then what--"

"I did not say that!"

"Yes you did!"

"I did not!"

"Did, too!"

I got too sick of it. I just gave up. Breathing slowly, I replied "Look, nothing's wrong with me. Let's - let's just go and have some lunch, okay?"

"Janie -"

"No, just stop, Alice. Everything's fine. I was just having a - a moment of weakness alright? Let's go." And with that I promptly turned and started walking down the dormitory steps, with a stunned Alice in my wake.

When I found myself in the Great Hall without my best friend at my heels, I realized I'd been a complete jerk.

"Oy, Janie!"

Sirius.

I turned around and saw him walking over to me. The other three Marauders passed me and smiled, and it was then that I knew something was up. "What do you want?"

He sighed. "To talk to you." Sirius looked... well... _serious_.

I frowned and made him come outside the front doors. I sat down on the top most steps and hoped he would do the same. "What do you want to talk about, Sirius?"

He sat down. "What happened in Hogsmeade? I mean... Moony said something about you were feeling a bit under the weather... are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I muttered and looked away.

He was silent for a moment. "What do you have against Eiley, Janie?"

I stared at him. Was he serious? Was he _actually_ asking me that? Instead of responding to him, I burst into loud, obnoxious laughter..

"C'mon, Janie, I'm serious!"

"I know you're being serious, Sirius," I laughed even more at my joke, "but what could I possibly have against _Eiley Miller_?" Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but immediately shut it while I continued chuckling. "Honestly," I continued, though my tone sounded slightly bitter, "what put that insane idea in your head?"

"You," said Sirius.

"Did you think I was _jealous_ of her or something?"

"Yes, I did."

I paused briefly at Sirius's blunt honesty. "Well, I wasn't," I said to him.

"You acted like you were, Janie."

"Ew, NO."

"Don't deny it--the first step toward recovery is admitting you have a problem." He crossed his arms and looked at me, his eyes glowing. He'd caught me and I had nowhere to run.

"Sod off, Sirius."

A wide grin of vast proportion spread across Sirius's clear face--dimples and all. "You WERE jealous."

"I was not!" I snapped. "God, first Alice and now you? Just leave me alone!" I stood up and started to go back in the castle, but Sirius took hold of my arm.

"You know," he said, "you don't have to get defensive all the time."

"Yes I do," I said weakly, my arm going limp in his grasp. I could feel my heart rate speeding up, and my eyes wouldn't leave his eyes. "I have to."

Sirius stepped closer to me, and our noses were literally touching (it helps when you're almost as tall as Hagrid). "You're a bloody mystery," he whispered.

And then every memory of Sirius taunting me, getting me into trouble, arguing with me--basically every moment we'd had together poured back in my head as easily as I'd let it get out. I stepped back quickly and yanked my arm from him. I knew that my face was contorted in confusion, because I could see that Sirius was feeling the same way.

"I... I have to... I have to go," I stammered, and ran back into the castle, wondering why the hell I hadn't stayed.

All next week, people were talking about Eiley Miller and Sirius Black. Together.

For some reason, everyone was interested in what was going on between the two--everyone except me. I mean, it was just a Hogsmeade visit. Nothing fancy.

When Sirius and I would have to work together in Potions, I ignored him like I used to, and chatted with Remus.

Oh, and might I add that Lily was being very polite to James? Talk about weird.

Even Alice noticed that. We stayed up all Monday night, giggling about how Lily and James were actually madly in love and hiding their affair from the rest of the school. Yes, I'd apologized to Alice. It was a brief, "I'm sorry," but she accepted it--Thank Merlin.

I was also starting to struggle with Transfiguration--something that had NEVER happened to me before, and on Wednesday, Professor McGonagall held me back after class.

"I'll catch up, Alice," I said glumly as my friend left me in the hands of my head of house.

"Miss Livings," Professor McGonagall said in a voice I did not want to hear, "have you been feeling alright?"

"Yes, ma'am," I said to her and held my Transfiguration notebook to my chest. "I'm fine. I haven't been sleeping well the past couple of nights, but I'm fine."

McGonagall gave me a stern look, but I could tell that she was worried about me. Her eyes were not easily hidden under her spectacles. "Well, be that as it may," she began, "I think you should see Madame Pomfrey. Perhaps she can give you a helpful sleeping draught for a dreamless sleep."

"But, Professor, I'm--"

"Miss Livings, that was not a request."

"But I--"

"Get to the Hospital Wing now."

Nodding, I left the room in a pout and started toward the Hospital Wing. Thoughts attacked my brain--and I tried to sort through them the best I could.

How come when Sirius took hold of my arm, I felt tingles shoot up and down my bloodstream? How come the hairs on the back of my neck stood up every time his eyes were on me? I'd never felt more aware of my body (let alone his) in my entire life. And I came to the conclusion that it must've been a physical attraction. Nothing more. I was merely fascinated by Sirius's appearance, and that had happened to every girl at Hogwarts. I wasn't crazy.

But I knew that I couldn't ever let him or anyone else know I had that feeling in me. If word got out that Janie Livings had the hots for Sirius Black, I'd be doomed.

I reached the Hospital Wing and started to open the door, but I heard hushed voices from the other side. Curious, I quietly turned the handle and put my eye up to the crack.

"--if you honestly think that Dumbledore's going to catch on, Regulus, you're mad."

My seeing eye traveled to where the voice was coming from, and I let out a slight gasp.

Bellatrix Black, Narcissa Black, Rodolphus Lestrange, Lucius Malfoy, and Regulus Black were huddled in a corner near a hospital bed. Regulus was sitting up on the bed while the others stood around, making sure they weren't being overheard.

Before you get confused, let me explain something. Bellatrix, Narcissa, Rodolphus, and Lucius had already graduated from Hogwarts--ALL of them from Slytherin. I immediately became curious as to what the nature of their visit entailed.

"Bellatrix, behave," said Rodolphus softly and frowned. "He is young."

"It is not that he is _young_, Rodolphus," Bellatrix hissed and circled around the bed where Regulus was sitting. Her long black hair was half down, half tied in a bun. "It is the fact that he has been talking to Sirius Black, one of Dumbledore's favourites."

My mind was reeling. What the hell was going on?

"I wanted to see if he was faring well," Regulus mumbled so quietly that I had to strain to listen. "He _is_ my brother."

"And he betrayed the Black family name because he could not accept his destiny!" Bellatrix countered.

"Bella," Narcissa said and laid a hand on her sister's shoulder. "We mustn't blame Regulus for a foolish act such as this. If he went and saw Sirius, it was with good reason."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What exactly was this group doing here, and why was Regulus in the Hospital Wing?

"He'd better have had a good reason," Lucius said coldly. "It's bad enough that we have Dumbledore breathing down our necks, but if Sirius Black and his rubbish band of Marauders think something is going on, we'll have trouble on our hands."

Rodolphus nodded in agreement with Lucius and sighed. "Regulus, did you get what we came for?"

Regulus sent the tall, burly man a sour look. "Why do you think I'm lying in this bed?" he spat and reached into his jean pocket. "The damn Inferi that he's got are gonna be a hell of an army--and they'll be able to protect it easy."

In his hand was a golden locket. The chain was long and would've hung down to my naval if around my neck. I was scared to find out exactly what and who it was meant for.

Bellatrix's face curved into a malicious smile as she snatched the locket away from Regulus's grasp. "He'll be very pleased," she said happily and turned to the others. "And we'll make sure we get it to him."

Narcissa smiled, but then her face fell. "Where's Snape? I thought he was supposed to meet us here?"

My heart almost blew out of my chest. Snape was one of them? I mean, I didn't know what they were, or who he was, but still...

Lucius rolled his eyes. "We'll handle Snape later. Right now we should leave, I--ah, dammit!" His eyes snapped down to look at his arm. "Dammit!" he swore again. "He's calling."

The others looked pained as well. What had just happened, and what did it have to do with their arms?

"We'll be back soon, Regulus," Narcissa said in a whisper.

The group headed towards the door, causing me to run and hide behind one of the suits of armor near. They snuck out so quietly that had I not just heard all of their conversation, I wouldn't have believed anyone had snuck in and out of the castle.

Once I knew the coast was clear, I ran and opened the door to the Hospital Wing. I saw Regulus sit up. "Oh," he said glumly and laid back down, "it's just you."

"Cue the marching band," I muttered and looked around. My heart was still beating too fast for my own health. "Where's Madame Pomfrey?"

Regulus sighed a heavy sigh and his eyes locked with mine. They were the same colour as Sirius's--only these ones were a colder gray... and it was almost frightening. "Not here," he replied. "She's talking to Professor Medlata about something supposedly important."

"Oh." I felt as though I couldn't breathe--as though my claustrophobia had returned. You know those stirrers you get with your coffee? Yeah, the really THIN ones? That's what it felt like I was breathing out of.

Without another word, I ran out of the Hospital Wing.

I had to tell Sirius.


	8. Chapter 7: Mirror, Mirror

_Things are about to get crazy crazy up in here. No joke, people. I rather liked writing this chapter simply because of the ending. I think you'll like it too—and don't worry. Things will be okay. :) C/C is encouraged, and thank you so much to everyone who's commented! I greatly appreciate it! Love, Aubree._

**Chapter Seven**

**Mirror, Mirror**

I ran to the Gryffindor common room in such a hurry that when I got in there, I collapsed on the floor. Several people gasped and I felt two figures lift me up and move me to the nearest couch. It was Remus and James. I remembered what the people in the Hospital Wing had said about the Marauders, and I started crying. God, I could be such a baby.

"Janie," James said, kneeling in front of me, his face concerned. "Janie, what's wrong? Calm down, it'll be alright."

Remus sat next to me and laid a comforting hand on my back. I couldn't stop sobbing.

"The--I came over--and they--locket--and eyes--and--"

"Take a deep breath," Remus advised. "In and out, in and out."

I did as I was told. I took at least five deep breaths and then realized that all the Gryffindors in the common room were around me. "In private," I managed to get out.

James and Remus helped me up again and took me out of the way of prying eyes. We left Gryffindor Tower and headed to the seventh floor--the Room of Requirement.

The only reason I knew about this room was because during my third year, Sirius told me that if I went up there and walked past three times, thinking of a ferocious animal, I would be in a magical jungle. So I went to the seventh floor and (being a dumb third year) asked for a lion.

Needless to say that when the door appeared and I opened it, I vowed to kill Sirius.

Now James and Remus walked past the place three times, and a door appeared where it always did. Remus turned the knob and led me inside the room where tons of comfy looking couches awaited us.

"Thought you'd want to be comfortable," James said and smiled, closing the door behind him. "Now what happened?"

Slowly, and trying to remember everything, I told the two about what I'd overheard. I recited the names of everyone who'd been around Regulus's bed, and about the locket. They listened to my every word, and when I finished, there was an uncomfortable pause.

"Where are Padfoot and Wormtail?" James asked Remus suddenly.

"Probably in the common room," Remus replied, and a knowing look traipsed across his face. "Use the mirror."

"The what?" I questioned, but the two ignored me. James looked in the messenger bag he was carrying and pulled out a regular looking mirror.

"This isn't the time to be vain!" I bellowed, not knowing what to do. James held up a finger to silence me.

"Padfoot?" He said into the mirror.

I laughed. What was with everyone? There I was, telling them that something fishy was going on with the Slytherins, and they—

I heard Sirius's voice come from the mirror. I jumped about a mile in my seat.

"Prongs?" he said. "What's up?"

"Get to the Room of Requirement now. Janie's here with me and Moony. Bring Wormtail--and if you can find her, get Alice."

"How is that even possible?" I said to Remus and pointed to the mirror as James continued talking to the Sirius reflecting in the glass.

Remus turned his attention on me and smiled. "It's a two-way mirror. James and Sirius have had them since the middle of their first year. They carry them everywhere.."

"Oh," I said simply. "And all this time I thought I was more intelligent than them."

Remus laughed. "I thought that myself."

"Alright, Padfoot," said James as he glanced over at me. "Hurry up. Bye." He put the mirror away and looked at Remus and myself. "He's on his way with Wormtail… and…." James hesitated for a moment. "Lily's coming, too. She said that just because we only asked for Alice doesn't mean you don't want her there."

I smiled for the first time in hours. "That's fine," I said and laid down on the squishy red couch I'd been perched on since we'd arrived. "Lily's been a good friend to me."

A knock and a turn of a doorknob was heard, and Lily, Sirius, Alice, and Peter entered. They all looked worried.

"Janie, are you alright?" Alice asked, rushing over and sitting next to me on the floor. "I was in the Great Hall and Sirius ran in and told me you were in here. He said you were all shaken up."

Alice.

"Sirius was barking, 'MAKE WAY FOR THE JANIE SAVERS!' and I got after him for not telling me about it," Lily glowered, and I could feel myself blush.

I was suddenly aware that Sirius was standing behind everyone else, leaning against the wall. His long black hair was hanging in front of his eyes, but I knew he was looking at me. Don't ask me how, but I knew. I didn't know what to do, what to think, so instead I just looked at him and said, "Your brother is with the wrong crowd."

Sirius lifted his head and his captivating--no, I mean--his _stupid_ gray eyes locked with my own jade ones. He had a half smile on, his dimples denting his cheeks. "I know. What happened?"

I rolled my eyes. "Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Black, Narcissa Black, and Rodolphus Lestrange were all in the Hospital Wing and I heard them talking to your brother. Then he handed them this locket thing, and--"

"A locket?" Sirius asked, sharing a glance with James, Remus and Peter.

"_Yes_, a locket," I said back. "And so he gave it to them, and then Lucius was being a baby about his arm hurting and then they all left."

Sirius cast another glance as his fellow friends, and a worried look spread across his face. "So Lucius Malfoy has the locket?"

"Yes," I replied.

Without warning, Sirius looked alarmed, and an alert look spread across his handsome face. "This is not good. Whatever that locket is, I'm sure it's going to be used for something really bad."

For some reason, I felt like he was withholding information.

"Gee, thanks for that astonishing pronouncement," James spat. "We need to look at the map. _Now_."

"Map?" Lily questioned, raising an eyebrow and standing up so she was at James's level. "What are you going on about? If this is something that you all are using to sneak out of the school, I need to confiscate it right--"

"Lily, there's no time for that," said James, and it didn't even register with me that he'd not called her by her surname. "I'll explain later. C'mon, Moony. We'll go and get the map. Wormtail, you try and spy on the Hospital Wing where Regulus is. Make sure he doesn't leave. Lily, Alice, I need you two to go with Wormtail—he gets distracted easily."

"What about me and Sirius?" I yelled, scowling.

"Stay here," barked James. "Do not leave this room."

I scowled at James and then tried to give Remus my famous puppy-eyed look. He shook his head, and he and James left the room.

"Erm... we'll be back," Alice said, glancing at me and Sirius in worry.

"No problem," I responded, and watched moodily as Lily, Peter, and Alice left—leaving me alone with Sirius. Oh, fun. I sighed heavily and threw myself in an upset fashion on the couch, my face sinking into the decorative pillow at the end.

"So," I heard Sirius say and felt him sit on the edge of the couch. "My brother gave them a locket."

"Oh, you listened," I quipped. "Good boy."

Sirius sent me a look. "I'm being serious."

"So am I."

There was an uncomfortable silence between us before Sirius started in again. "Are you sure you saw what you think you saw?"

I couldn't believe my ears. "Of _course_ not, Sirius," I said sarcastically and turned to stare him in the face, "I'm making up the whole goddamned thing! What kind of a question is that? Why would I make up something serious like what I saw? Are you mad?"

Sirius looked offended. "It was just a question! Sometimes when people panic, they make up things and exaggerate their stories! I was only trying to be helpful!"

"Then stop!" I shouted back and crossed my arms on my chest. "God, you are so annoying!"

"You're the one who's jumping on my case! I'm asking because we're dealing with my brother here!"

Rolling my eyes I stood up and walked towards the door. "Just leave me alone, Sirius."

Sirius leapt up from his seat and got to the door first. "You can't leave. Prongs said to—"

"Uh, does it look like I care?" I asked. "I am going straight to Dumbledore."

"You can't!"

I pursed my lips and placed both hands on my hips. Did Sirius honestly think he was going to win an argument with me? "Oh, really? And what reason is there that I can't possibly go to the Headmaster of our school with an important matter such as this?"

For a moment I thought Sirius was going to wring my neck. His eyes, those cold, gray eyes stared at me with such intensity that I felt myself shiver. He leaned closer to me, his breath lightly flicking my skin, and I knew what was going to happen. I knew, and yet I wasn't stopping myself—

When the door burst open. James came running in with Remus close behind. "It's Regulus; he's not in the Hospital Wing. He's not on the map. He's gone!"

I jumped away from where I'd been standing, and a silence took over. James looked at Sirius in a knowing way, and I knew that this was a bigger problem than I'd thought.


End file.
